What my mom dying taught me about climate change.

9/14/23

At first glance, I never thought I’d put those two things — my mom dying and climate change — in the same sentence. Turns out there is so much connection between the two.

Nine years ago today my mom passed away from Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. In a matter of months, she went from a healthy active mom and business owner, to gone. Our family is still shook to this day.

Next year it will have been 10 years and that “marker” is already giving me quite a bit of anxiety… it feels so far, yet so real, so palpable. I did things no 28 year old should ever have to do and saw things that I will never be able to unsee.

So what does my mom dying have to do with climate change?

Turns out, quite a lot.

Our world is on fire.

I hope I am not the first one to tell you this, especially after a summer like this past one … but our world is in a load of hurt.

If you aren’t paying attention to or affected by this pain and suffering, you are willfully ignoring it.

If you think you can continue your day to day lives as normal, unaffected by what is going on in our natural world, you are misguided.

If you think you, your work, your family, your kids are somehow removed from nature, our natural worlds, and their interconnected webs and thus wrath, you might want to brush up on science.

If you think it’s just a bunch of crazy people sounding false alarms, think again.

(Until you have read an IPCC report, you can’t form a rationale argument against what is happening. Here ya go…you’re welcome)

As our planet warms, the destruction continues (just yesterday over 5,000 — and counting — people died in flooding in Libya).

And this ongoing destruction has fueled growing climate anxiety, or eco-anxiety.

This is defined as, “fundamental distress about climate change and its impacts on the landscape and human existence. That can manifest as intrusive thoughts or feelings of distress about future disasters or the long-term future of human existence and the world, including one’s own descendants”

It is estimated that 30% of Americans experience climate anxiety and has given rise to an entirely new field of psychology.

The anxiety, pain, fear, anger one feels towards the death of a loved one, what I felt during and after my mom’s passing, is exactly what many are feeling towards the loss of our habitable world, the loss of a stable eco-system, one that is not just deteriorating, but moving towards extinction.

The Grief Journey

The grief journey is never linear.

It can be suffocating, intoxicating, depressing, maddening, even motivating.

But what we know for sure is that one does not progress linearly through the stages of grief. Nor should one.

In the following months and years after my mom’s passing, I felt it all.

I was depressed. I considered taking my own life.

I felt angry, I felt sad, I felt hopeless. I felt I had lost not only my mom, but a best friend, someone that helped me make sense of all that was the world.

I felt isolated, I felt closer to others I hadn’t been close to in years. I leaned on friendships — some rose to the occasion, some surprised me with their kindness, support, and care.

I screamed at the top of my lungs on multiple occassions. I hit pillows with all the rage I had In my bones. I sang and danced like never before.

It wasn’t until numerous anxiety attacks (3 to be exact), a visit from the paramedics, a trip to the cardiologist, that I began to realize this grief was either going to be my downfall, or I could try to channel it into something more, motivation, something worth living for.

And this is what many around the world, myself included, are feeling with the affects of climate change.

The World As It Is

Many are going through their own grief journey with the state of the environment.

We feel angry at those not acting. We feel hatred towards oil company profits and government inaction.

We feel sad that our kids won’t inherent the same ecological stability that we were so fortunate to have.

We feel depressed at our collective inability to really give a shit — enough to create the action needed at every level, from self to global.

We feel stressed the F***K out about what to do with our kids futures, where to live, what to invest in, and how possibly it can feel like so many are willfully ignoring the truth…

We feel a growing sense of anger and find it harder and harder to keep that anger in check, to funnel it into proactive action.

I’ve been working in the climate space for the past 15 years and connected with folks around the world grappling with these emotions.

One of the most genuinely nicest people I’ve ever met, told me they were considering damaging trucks and gas guzzling cars in their neighborhood. These are not just “hippies” having these feelings and range of emotions.

These are real people. People that care enough to feel.

Your Feelings Are OK.

I learned many things in my own grief journey, subsequent group and individual therapy. But one that has stuck with me the most, resonated the most, and felt the most helpful is that your feelings are just that, YOUR feelings.

You are entitled to your feelings. You are OK to feel angry, depressed, sad, and mad. They are afteral, your feelings.

An analogy given to me during therapy was to think of yourself as the sky and your emotions as clouds/weather.

Severe storms form, cause destruction, come and go. There are sunny days. There are cold days. But the weather comes and goes, the weather does not define you, just as your emtions do not define who you are. After a rage of emotions comes and goes, you are still you. Perhaps altered, but just like the sky, still there.

What I see in the climate space is more and more individuals expressing their emotions, their anger, their frustration.

But I also see much discussion from within climate “circles” prescribing what and how to do with these emotions. That anger is not ok, that we must be above frustration. That we can’t ever let these emotions get the best of us.

But as someone who felt grief literally take me to my knees, I know these feelings are ok. We must give them space to breath, to course through our veins, to be processed, let out, and recognized.

Your frustrations around climate change, your anxiety, your anger at those not doing enough, are totally valid.

And you are not alone.

The Work Ahead

After deciding to do my best to let the grief and despair I felt from my mom’s death motivate and fuel me even more in my work and life, the real hard, challenging work began.

It has been incredibly difficult, not always easy, and with the support of many I felt I was slowly able to get on the right path. I’ve since gotten married, had two boys of my own, and launched my own company in my mom’s honor. And while I am proud of that path, it’s looked a lot like this:

my grief journey

And that is ok because it is my journey.

Your journey may look totally different and that is ok too.

So while we are here, I encourage you to let those emotions out. Lean into your climate anger, your climate anxiety.

Because it is in those emotions that two things will happen: You will find out who you truly are and you will be able to begin the work of healing, of motivation, of change.

Thanks for being here.

Z

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Read original article on Medium:
https://medium.com/@zachweismann/what-my-mom-dying-taught-me-about-climate-change-f89e6b659dea

Will we solve climate change? Are we alone in the universe? It doesn’t actually matter.

1/17/24

But not in the way you might think…

Photo by NASA on Unsplash

My last article dove into why I am becoming more & more pessimistic about our ability to really curb climate change. I don’t think I articulated anything new per se, but framed it as a problem of two main components: a spending/excess mindset (as opposed to a less/enough mindset) and a problem of willingness. It seemed to resonate with quite a few folks.

The deeper I dive into the climate science, continue my own climate work, and read the latest news/reports, a few main questions about climate change keep reappearing:

1. Are we doing too little, too late? (in short, yes.)

2. Is climate change something we can solve? (not really, but solve might have always been the wrong goal…)

3. Will climate change wipe out life as we know it? (maybe, but depends a lot on how and who you define as part of “life”…)

4. Ok, so then are we alone in the universe?!? (well, I’m not sure this actually matters — even if the answer is yes or even if the answer is no)

5. So if we’re all screwed, all alone, why do anything at all? (ah, now let’s discuss!)

The discourse is clearly growing around how the collective WE can handle hope and despair as it pertains to our future as a species on this planet. Questions are surfacing at an alarming rate such as:

• Is hope the key to action and our ability to limit the damage?

• What role does despair have in all of this?

• Can you actually think its all screwed and still actively participate in living a full, meaningful life?

There is a lot of debate and discourse happening online, at dinner tables, in our own heads, and among climate activists, scientists, and reporters.

• Can people actually handle the truth?

• Will truth send them into spirals of depression and despair?

• Is hope actually all we have?

There are two framings that I think offer us some guidance in these challenging times.

Whether or not we solve climate change, whether or not we are alone in the universe, actually doesn’t matter…You still do the work necessary.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

This has been a big time, recent revelation for me.

Think of it this way: even though we know we are all going to die, we still have to live.

We’ve all heard the adage, “you gotta live each day as if its your last!” Fundamentally, we get it. Life is short, we are only here for a flash in the pan amount of time. So you gotta live! YOLO!

But in practice we know this advice to be pretty poor. I have to work for a living, I have two children under the age of 6, and I am happily married.

If you told me to live today because I was going to die tomorrow, I’d strip off all my clothes, run into an empty field and dance to Future Islands like you’ve never seen a middle-aged dad-bod dance before. (Don’t u dare me, I’ll do it!!)

Would that be fun and amazing? Absolutely. Is that a way to live every day? Absolutely not.

Because the reality is most of us don’t know when we are going to die, the majority of us don’t really know when our last day on this earth will be.

So we know the expression, live each day as if it is your last, is actually about priority setting, focusing on what matters, working against a million forces telling us otherwise (buy this, do this, be like this, etc), and actually choosing what f***s to give. EVEN in the face of utter uncertainty.

While we may not know when, we do know our fate. Each and everyone of us will die, that is for certain.

Yet we still wake up in the morning. We brush our teeth, get dressed, and we show up. (Now we can argue at length about what it means to actually show up and how most don’t really ever show up, but that’s another article ;).

We do things we like to do, we do things we have to do, we do things we don’t like to do but need to do (like sit in carpool drive through lines in the 112 degree heat… see: me in Dallas in August…but hey, what climate change!?)

But the point is we try. Even in the face of our gradual demise we show up. We do the next right thing. (or try to)

We know we can’t actually live like every day is our last, or that would actually be a pretty isolating, lonely, crazy sort of existence.

And in the end, whenever our individual time is up, we hope we can look back with fondness on how we showed up, what we cared about, and the life we led. We hope we can die with pride, proud of what we did.

This pride can exist even if we never solve climate change and it ends up being our demise. This pride can exist even if we are alone in the universe.

And this pride, I would argue, actually must exist. We did nothing to inherit this flash in the pan brilliance of existence gift of life we are given. It is our gift not to squander it but to use to our fullest capabilities. Because in the end, that’s all that really matters.

Losing A loved One Too Soon

I’ve written about this previously but when I was 28, my mom died from stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She had just turned 60.

She and I were incredibly close. She went from healthy & traveling to gone in less than 4 months.

In her final days, and in the years since her passing, its forced me to reflect quite a bit on life, its meaning, and our collective path forward.

The experience, the grief, literally and figuratively brought me to my knees.

When a loved one is sick, you know that this next dose of medicine, or this small conversation, or cold rag on a warm head, or this moment of joy holding hands listening to a song in bed, isn’t going to save that persons life. You know that this action is not going to change the fate of things.

Yet you still do it.

You know its the next right thing.

Despite an imminent outcome, we have to still lead with compassion, love, care, and tenderness.

Because it is someone, something we love.

Because we only get one drive forward through the tunnel of life. You can’t turn around, you can’t back up, you can’t speed up to see what’s waiting for you at the light at the end of the tunnel.

In her final weeks, I knew nothing I did was going to save my mom’s life. I wasn’t going to significantly change her fate, but I showed up. And I can tell you with the upmost certainty of almost any thing I’ve ever done in my life, boy am I glad I did. I am glad I and my family faced that challenge head on and were together for it.

Because if I had run from that togetherness time, due to a certain outcome I didn’t like or care for, I would have missed out on some of my most cherished times.

Even if climate change is going to be our demise, we still have to show up. We still have to lead with compassion, conduct ourselves in a way that helps improve an outcome, regardless if that outcome’s fate is sealed or not.

Because it’s all we’ve really got.

EVEN if you chose to adopt nihilism and build your bunker, so be it. But we’ve all seen Blast from the Past and it’s not a real quality way of life.

We still fundamentally need community, need one another, need nature, and need some semblance of quality of life, even if you determine your best quality of life to be alone in a bunker counting your cans of soup…

A second helpful framing is that of an athlete.

The athlete mentality and approach actually shows us how to handle hope and despair in the face of climate change.

This one also takes a bit to explain so bear with me.

Photo by Jannik Skorna on Unsplash

I was born extremely pigeon toed. The doctors told my parents it was either leg braces or wearing my shoes on tied together every night for a year (they chose the shoes tied together route).

Raised Jewish, I turned out to grow to 6’4 inches tall. Woo! Already a highlight in the Jewish community…

Born badly pigeon toed, Jewish, and white, I feel like excelling at High School basketball and playing four years of College Basketball really was me making the most of my given (or lack thereof) athletic abilities.

All jokes aside, I’ve often thought about how an athlete approach & mindset can help us navigate climate change.

If you’ve ever seriously trained, competed, either individually or on a team, what did you notice about that process?

I’m willing to bet it followed a process a bit like this:

1. Train (both mentally and physically)

2. Compete (in a season, in a match)

3. Reflect (analyze how you did, what you accomplished, what you failed to accomplish)

4. Rest / recuperate (absolutely vital because you realize you cannot physically do it without).

5. Repeat steps 1–4 (for months, years, decades on end).

And within that high level of competition, you are faced with the competing realities of both hope and despair…

As an athlete you have to be hopeful, optimistic, that you can in fact climb that mountain, swim faster, beat a team that on paper appears to be much better than your team. But you know this hope only gets you so far…

If the hope becomes delusional, you won’t train as hard. You wont focus as clearly, you won’t prioritize rest.

You’ll be underprepared and probably all too cocky.

And yet despair is also a critical piece to athletics and competition.

We know we did our absolute best. We tried, we played, we trained, we ran. Yet we lost. We lost in soul-crushing fashion.

That despair is often used for motivation, for fuel.

If the despair becomes delusional, you won’t train as hard. You won’t focus as clearly, you won’t prioritize rest.

If I sat around in a permanent state of despair, I would have never even tried to compete. “That teams too fast, too athletic, too talented. We don’t stand a chance…”

I have already lost. You bet with that mindset I’d go out there and get my butt kicked.

At the same time, we all have seen teams and athletes with too much hubris. They are too cocky, too optimistic in their approach.

We must bring an athletic mindset and approach to climate change.

From a process perspective, those working on climate solutions have to train (mentally & physically), compete, reflect, and rest. And repeat. Or we’ll all burn out much quicker than our planet will burn up.

We have to remain hopeful, even if we don’t (or may never know the outcome) because hope enables us to show up. Hope enables us to fight. But just like in caring for a loved one, or facing your biggest competition yet, hope does not hinge on a desired outcome. Hope hinges on doing the work necessary to give it your best, to at the end of the day say you really tried, in the face of adversity.

(If surveyed privately, how would you actually answer the question are you doing all you can in your power to combat climate change? Most of us, myself included, would answer… no…)

And we are allowed to lean into our despair. We can feel the soul crushing weight of a loss, another forest fire, a tragic climate change loss. We are allowed to feel angry, down trotten, PISSED OFF. We know this is part of competition. But we can’t let the despair drown us or we’ll never compete again, too low to do the work necessary.

For what is life other than showing up, competing, giving it your all whether you win, lose or draw?

For in the end, the uncomfortable truth is you, nor I, will know how the human species shapes up against climate change. We probably won’t be around for the discovery (or the lack thereof) of life on another planet.

And yet, we do the work necessary.
We make the next best decision.
Because at the end of the day, it’s all we really have.

Thanks for being here.

Zach

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Read original article on Medium:
https://medium.com/the-climate-climb/will-we-solve-climate-change-are-we-alone-in-the-universe-it-doesnt-actually-matter-a85b38c306b2